How could he do that to me? I didn't deserve it! I didn't do anything wrong.
Those things can all be true and even justified, but it is very easy to stay 'stuck' in a victim mentality. When we have been hurt or wronged in some way it is normal to ruminate on the injury: What that person said. What you wished you'd said. How much you hurt. How you were right and they were wrong!
Unfortunately, all that focus on self makes it difficult to remember others. I heard a beautiful testimony recently by Immaculee Ilibagiza, a survivor of the Rawandan genocide. She stated that while in a refugee camp, following the slaughter of her family, she looked around and saw others in need. People who were in worse shape than she was. She chose to go to them and minister to them in any way she could. While it did not eliminate her grief, it gave her a focus that was not on her own sadness. In this way, she lessened her own victimhood and changed her own situation. There is a lesson of hope for all of us in her example; change your focus and your heart will change too.