How Different Would Life Look?
After receiving the Eucharist I rarely make it out of the parking lot without getting angry about something. Even knowing Christ is in me and receiving the grace from the Sacrament isn't enough to radically change me. I suppose it is because I can't see Jesus or the grace that accompanies Him into my life. I simply forget that Jesus is with me.
It reminds me of dealing with parenting when my kids were little. If I was having an awful day with them, I would take them someplace public like the park or the grocery store, so that I would be forced by public accountability to be a more patient, loving mom. It usually helped me see my little ones differently and had the desired effect of raising me up to public role model standards. What if I could picture Jesus actually with me all day? Would it alter the way I behave?
Putting a large picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in every room helps. His eyes!! They follow me everywhere and he always seems to be smiling that gentle smile at me. Wearing a scapular helps too. I feel the constant scratch as a reminder that Jesus is with me right now and all the time. These are just tools though, reminders which don't do their jobs if I don't try to use them purposefully to feel Christ's presence in my minute-by-minute life.
I feel my children and my husband with me even when they are not physically present and I still hear my mom's voice in my head, so how can I increase my own awareness of God in that way? Read the Scriptures everyday, write down a verse, memorize it and even leave it someplace where I will see it and reflect on it often. Frequent reception of the Sacraments of Confession and Eucharist will also provide me the additional grace I need to recall that Christ is with me always.
How different would my life look if I was always aware of His presence? Would I be kinder, more gentle, slower to anger, patient, full of joy... sounds like the Fruits of the Holy Spirit! Praying the Holy Spirit prayer, "Come Holy Spirit," may also keep me close to God at all moments in my life. It is a circle of love; pray, feel God's presence, behave with God's grace, be moved to deeper conversion and pray... feel God's presence... and so on.
It's too bad I don't have one of those security cameras and tracking bands on my ankle which would give direct reports to God. I suppose even that would eventually become like a part of me and I would drift back into my old habits. So for now, I will make an effort to remember that God is with me, helping me, watching me and wanting me to be accountable to Him. When others look at me I will ask the Holy Spirit to reflect God back to them. I will receive Jesus in the Eucharist and exercise my focus on His presence in every moment of my life. I will read Scripture often, so that the voice I hear in my head will be His. God bless.